Satan is a book
Don't worry, I'm not talking about House of Leaves. That book is fantastic, I love it. No, my fellow readers, I'm talking about Lo's Diary.
I started reading that book today because I was bored and I thought it might be good to get a head start on it. I've read the John Ray foreword and the first chapter, and I am entirely baffled as to why we're reading this. No, wait, I'm baffled as to how this beast was published. The Foreword consists of Pia Pera revealing that about 90% of Lolita actually didn't happen. Yes, we know Humbert wasn't reliable, but in this little reality, things didn't happen at all. The showdown with Clare Quilty? Not real. Humbert's death? Nah, he's alive and well. And his real name is Humbert Guibert, by the way (did Pera even read the fucking book?). Lolita's alive too, oh and her husband Dick is deaf. I can't conceive of a reason to make that particular change, but there it is.
Okay, having no respect for a classic piece of literature is one thing, but then! we actually get into the story. Have you ever wanted to read the pissy, inane ramblings of a bitchy twelve year-old girl? What, you haven't? Me neither! Who the fuck would? When Pia Pera wrote this book, did she even know that novels are supposed to have target audiences? I'd assume this would be for people who have read Lolita, but none of them would be interested in this brainless shit, and the kinds of pre-teen girls who might find this deeply fascinating sure as shit wouldn't have read Lolita. Their little brains would explode by the third page.
And now I'm staring at the first page of chapter 2, and it begins with "This summer I so totally betrayed Mary Jo that I really have to spend a page of my diary on her." Omigod, you so totally betrayed your best friend? Please, Dolores, tell me more! What could be more interesting than that?!?! Maybe... I don't know... a description of a colonoscopy? The mating habits of armadillos? A two page listing of American photographers in 8-point font? Anything?
Scott, why are you doing this to us? Does the book have merit, somewhere down the road? Is there more to it than just pissing on Nabokov and listening to a whiny adolescent? In the Foreword, "John Ray" says that he doesn't think this diary would be of interest to anyone. Note to Pia Pera: when your own characters are pointing out how shitty the concept is, it's time to change the concept. Scott, please, what am I reading this for?
Holy shit, 450 words... might as well Count This.
I started reading that book today because I was bored and I thought it might be good to get a head start on it. I've read the John Ray foreword and the first chapter, and I am entirely baffled as to why we're reading this. No, wait, I'm baffled as to how this beast was published. The Foreword consists of Pia Pera revealing that about 90% of Lolita actually didn't happen. Yes, we know Humbert wasn't reliable, but in this little reality, things didn't happen at all. The showdown with Clare Quilty? Not real. Humbert's death? Nah, he's alive and well. And his real name is Humbert Guibert, by the way (did Pera even read the fucking book?). Lolita's alive too, oh and her husband Dick is deaf. I can't conceive of a reason to make that particular change, but there it is.
Okay, having no respect for a classic piece of literature is one thing, but then! we actually get into the story. Have you ever wanted to read the pissy, inane ramblings of a bitchy twelve year-old girl? What, you haven't? Me neither! Who the fuck would? When Pia Pera wrote this book, did she even know that novels are supposed to have target audiences? I'd assume this would be for people who have read Lolita, but none of them would be interested in this brainless shit, and the kinds of pre-teen girls who might find this deeply fascinating sure as shit wouldn't have read Lolita. Their little brains would explode by the third page.
And now I'm staring at the first page of chapter 2, and it begins with "This summer I so totally betrayed Mary Jo that I really have to spend a page of my diary on her." Omigod, you so totally betrayed your best friend? Please, Dolores, tell me more! What could be more interesting than that?!?! Maybe... I don't know... a description of a colonoscopy? The mating habits of armadillos? A two page listing of American photographers in 8-point font? Anything?
Scott, why are you doing this to us? Does the book have merit, somewhere down the road? Is there more to it than just pissing on Nabokov and listening to a whiny adolescent? In the Foreword, "John Ray" says that he doesn't think this diary would be of interest to anyone. Note to Pia Pera: when your own characters are pointing out how shitty the concept is, it's time to change the concept. Scott, please, what am I reading this for?
Holy shit, 450 words... might as well Count This.
posted by Andy at 10:25 AM
1 Comments:
"Very little information is available on the mating habits of South American armadillos."
Well, now we know why Pera is writing about that, at least.
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